"Sugar"? Does this mean you think I'm sweet? -AS
As sweet as pie with arsenic in the crust, darling.
March 2012
69 posts
Of course I'm Sherlock. And quit your ridiculous flirting. You know what I'm here for. -SH
Prove. It.
I don’t give clues to impersonators.
Well, I haven't missed you. You're bulimic and have a huge forehead. I wonder what does Moran see in you.
Oh, ouch! Resorting to name-calling? Such wit! Such dry, scathing wit! I don’t think my heart will ever truly recover from this, no no no.
But really sweetheart, if you’re going to insult me, can’t you do better than that?
do you find stars on a dark night beautiful?
Not particularly!
You must be terribly bored to make something like this. It's a bit reckless, even for you. Don't you think? -SH
I was wondering when you’d find me, love. If you really are Sherlock, that is, and not one of these neanderthals. As for the recklessness, well. I thought it was obvious that everything I do… I do it all for you.
Daddy's home!
Well? Where’s the “Welcome Back Jim, We’ve Missed You Ever-So-Much” party?
are you impressed or annoyed when people try to outwit you?
A bit of neither. It’s like watching monkeys trying to be smart. Cute until you remember that they’re dirty, smelly primates.
you're so kawaii uguuuu
It's 7 in the morning, just fucking tell me. -AS
Oooh, expletives. Are we crabby today, sugar?
If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be? (Besides dear Sebastian, of course.)
Any animal? Well I’ve never been a fan of those big, bad crime lords with their exotic animals coiled around their feet (I’m a showoff, but that is trying just a smidge too hard), so maybe a dog. It’d have to be a tiny little yipping one, though; Sebastian hates those.
Popping in for a bit, again!
Hello!
Won’t be here for long though, just to answer a few questions and then I’ll be on my way. Hope you all are having a terrible day so far. ♥
Thank god, the drama queen is offline now.
NOW, I don’t have to listen to him giggle and ask me why people ask him such odd questions. He’s such a queen, with his “prissy little suits” You anons have provided me with endless ways to annoy Jim. Thank you.
As always.. Ask me anything! I’ll try to answer them to the best of my ability unless it’s personal.. I’ll answer everything anyways.
Seb, honey… You do realize I can read this, right?
It's much too quiet tonight...
I suppose I’ll be off to pay a surprise visit to an old friend, in that case. As always, it’s been fun! ♥
xoxo - JM
xkaadnsnadklndnaskldn. You're welcome for the spam.
What things? -AS
You think I’ll just tell you? But where would the fun in that be?
Dear Jim, please fix your face for me.
Oh, I see. So there really isn't anything special about him? -AS
No, of course nottt. Wouldn’t bother with him if that were the case. He’s got a few things that keep him from being too, you know, ordinary.
You've obviously seen that same expression on other people, what makes it so special on Sebby? -AS
Not “special”. Just endearing!
What's your preferred gender when dating?
No, no, no. I don’t care at all, as long as I get something out of it.
What is Sebby's most endearing quality? -AS
Sometimes he gets this very angry look on his face — but it’s not the kind of look that he uses when he finds out I’ve used up all his shampoo, or misplaced his rifle, or that one time when I forgot about him and showed up for dinner two hours late. It’s the look when he’s pissed off and worried, not about me (I hate that look), but when he’s scared for his own life and too much of a “man” to show it. I find it endearing. Sort of like a proud animal about to have its skull crushed in by a boulder.
Sebby is annoyed with me, isn't that cute? -AS
It’s adorable. Your banter is oddly entertaining. I knew someone would get under his skin eventually.
Fine, just have fun. -AS
You know I always do.
Play nicely Jim-jam. -AS
Oh, but playing nice is so stale.
my teachers all suck. jim will you fix it for me?
Not for free, sweetheart. Your offer?
Aww, now you've hurt my feelings. Oh well, at least I have my Living Dead Doll collection to talk to. -AS
But I thought we were connecting!
What if two sexy people called you "daddy"?
I would wonder about their state of mind. Then I’d get over it and give them my number.
Do you like being called daddy?
Is it that obvious?
What is considered sexy to you?
Intelligence.
A nice face isn’t too bad, either.
No, I'm not Sherlock. When am I getting that new couch you promised me earlier? I'm impatient. -AS
Oh, you again! I knew I recognized that snark from somewhere. Shame about you not being Sherlock, but oh well. Can’t always get what you want. And as for the couch… hm. I’d say I’m a man of my word, but I’m really not.
Really? You couldn't think of something original? Idiot. -AS
Oh nooo, have I disappointed you? If I wanted someone to play riddle games with, I’d go looking for Sherlock. Unless of course, you are Sherlock hiding behind that silly gray mask — in which case, feel free to ask the question again, dear!
Why is a raven like a writing desk? -AS
Poe wrote on both.
... This is the third time you've played this song. STOP.
Gwine to run all night, gwine to run all day! Camptown ladies never sang all the doo dah day — no, no, no!
Will you turn down that wretched music? It's driving me insane and it's horrid.
Met the ghost of Stephen Foster at the Hotel Paradise! This is what I told him as I gazed into his eyes: ships were made for sinking, whiskey made for drinking, if we were made of cellophane we’d all get stinking drunk much faster! HAHAHA!
Which accent do you find the sexiest? (To be perfectly fair, Irish is my favourite. But perhaps you'll never tell if I'm being honest or just being sweet..)
Aww~ I don’t particularly care, love — I’ll take it as a compliment anyways. But hmm, besides Irish… I find all the ones I can imitate to be the sexiest. I know, I know, a little egotistical of me to say, but I wouldn’t be where I am today without some good old fashioned narcissism.
Jimmy boy. Hello. Jimmy boy want some jam?
Not a huge fan of jam… or being called Jimmy boy.
What's your favourite food?
What, you mean besides Sebastian? Just kiddingggg. I’ll admit I’m a sucker for homemade potato soup.
What do you think of women in general, Mr Moriarty?
Depends on the woman! But in general? I don’t pay much mind to gender. I usually just lump boring women together with boring men. And most of them are… you know, boring.
can i tell by the way you walk? are you a woman's man? do you have time to talk?
Time to go!
It’s been entertaining, this chatting business, but unfortunately I’m on a tight schedule today. A few important and painfully dull meetings to attend, wouldn’t you know. Not to fear! I’ll be back. And if you want to bother Sebastian with any uncomfortably personal questions, his blog is right here~ Anywho, toodles!
xoxo - JM
Yes. I do :D Irish accents are sexy.
If you weren’t a gray, anonymous face on the web and I wasn’t a complete psychopath bent on helping the world along on its mission to destroy itself, this would be the part where I’d ask you out to dinner.
Well I do think they're prissy. I mean, I'm not even like that with all my clothes.
Oh, honey. I’ve noticed.
Lol, this anon has the exact same accent. Being Irish, of course.
So you know what I’m getting at, then!
How rude.
You started it, love. Calling my suits prissy, theoretically or notttt~
Sherlock likes John. You should call John, Jawn. It would probably annoy them both. (Both being Sherlock and John)
I like the way you think, Anonymous. Alas, I don’t think even the great Sherlock Holmes would notice the cute nickname, seeing as how it already sounds like I say “Jawn” with my accent. Oh well!
Was that sarcasm, Mr Moriarty?
What? Who, me? Sarcastic? But my dear, sweet Donna! Haven’t you heard? Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Or, perhaps, wit is the highest form of sarcasm as Daniel Pericart once said. Hmm.
Can I call you Jamsie? Or Jammy? You know John Watson likes jam.
I don't tend to earn many points with anyone... Though it's not like I try ;)
Hah! Good one.
Do you have any pets? (Besides Sebby, of course. xD... Do you call him Sebby? If not, you should.)
No, no. After the incident with the cat, Sebastian and I both agreed it’s probably for the best. And of course~! Sebby, Seb, Sea Bass, ‘Bastian, Sebastard, Sebastian with a lisp, Sebastian with an overly flamboyant lilt, Sebastian backwards… It’s become a bit of a hobby of mine, looking for different ways of saying his name to bother him with.
since you won't appear on season 3, do you mind if i turn steve moffat into shoes?!
No, not particularly! He’s not much of my problem anymore. But good luck trying to find something to match them with…
I don't consider myself to have a home (because home is where the heart is and I don't have a heart in the metaphorical sense) but we could go back to my house after coffee (although, I'm more of a tea drinker). My house is always cold, my couch is uncomfortable, and I don't have any footsie pyjamas, but having you over sounds like fun so I'll cope. Wait, you'd "get Sebastian slap [me] back with a bullet to the face. Multiple times."? You're an idiot, there should be a "to" in there.
Whoops! Fixed it just for you, sweetie! You’ll have to forgive me for the error, it had been late and I was a bit tired after… well goodness, that’s actually really none of your business. Anywho! Oh please, do stop with the “I have no home for my dark and heartless soul” ordeal. You’re sounding much too ordinary and I was just beginning to like you. Though, I admit no one should have an uncomfortable couch. Perhaps I’ll install a new one for you the next time you’re out. Not guaranteeing it won’t be rigged with something unpleasant, but that’s half the fun of receiving unexpected presents in the first place!
