You must be terribly bored to make something like this. It's a bit reckless, even for you. Don't you think? -SH
I was wondering when you’d find me, love. If you really are Sherlock, that is, and not one of these neanderthals. As for the recklessness, well. I thought it was obvious that everything I do… I do it all for you.
If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be? (Besides dear Sebastian, of course.)
Any animal? Well I’ve never been a fan of those big, bad crime lords with their exotic animals coiled around their feet (I’m a showoff, but that is trying just a smidge too hard), so maybe a dog. It’d have to be a tiny little yipping one, though; Sebastian hates those.
NOW, I don’t have to listen to him giggle and ask me why people ask him such odd questions. He’s such a queen, with his “prissy little suits” You anons have provided me with endless ways to annoy Jim. Thank you.
As always.. Ask me anything! I’ll try to answer them to the best of my ability unless it’s personal.. I’ll answer everything anyways.
Seb, honey… You do realize I can read this, right?
Sometimes he gets this very angry look on his face — but it’s not the kind of look that he uses when he finds out I’ve used up all his shampoo, or misplaced his rifle, or that one time when I forgot about him and showed up for dinner two hours late. It’s the look when he’s pissed off and worried, not about me (I hate that look), but when he’s scared for his own life and too much of a “man” to show it. I find it endearing. Sort of like a proud animal about to have its skull crushed in by a boulder.
No, I'm not Sherlock. When am I getting that new couch you promised me earlier? I'm impatient. -AS
Oh, you again! I knew I recognized that snark from somewhere. Shame about you not being Sherlock, but oh well. Can’t always get what you want. And as for the couch… hm. I’d say I’m a man of my word, but I’m really not.
Really? You couldn't think of something original? Idiot. -AS
Oh nooo, have I disappointed you? If I wanted someone to play riddle games with, I’d go looking for Sherlock. Unless of course, you are Sherlock hiding behind that silly gray mask — in which case, feel free to ask the question again, dear!
Will you turn down that wretched music? It's driving me insane and it's horrid.
Met the ghost of Stephen Foster at the Hotel Paradise! This is what I told him as I gazed into his eyes: ships were made for sinking, whiskey made for drinking, if we were made of cellophane we’d all get stinking drunk much faster! HAHAHA!
Which accent do you find the sexiest? (To be perfectly fair, Irish is my favourite. But perhaps you'll never tell if I'm being honest or just being sweet..)
Aww~ I don’t particularly care, love — I’ll take it as a compliment anyways. But hmm, besides Irish… I find all the ones I can imitate to be the sexiest. I know, I know, a little egotistical of me to say, but I wouldn’t be where I am today without some good old fashioned narcissism.
It’s been entertaining, this chatting business, but unfortunately I’m on a tight schedule today. A few important and painfully dull meetings to attend, wouldn’t you know. Not to fear! I’ll be back. And if you want to bother Sebastian with any uncomfortably personal questions, his blog is right here~ Anywho, toodles!
If you weren’t a gray, anonymous face on the web and I wasn’t a complete psychopath bent on helping the world along on its mission to destroy itself, this would be the part where I’d ask you out to dinner.
Do you have any pets? (Besides Sebby, of course. xD... Do you call him Sebby? If not, you should.)
No, no. After the incident with the cat, Sebastian and I both agreed it’s probably for the best. And of course~! Sebby, Seb, Sea Bass, ‘Bastian, Sebastard, Sebastian with a lisp, Sebastian with an overly flamboyant lilt, Sebastian backwards… It’s become a bit of a hobby of mine, looking for different ways of saying his name to bother him with.
I don't consider myself to have a home (because home is where the heart is and I don't have a heart in the metaphorical sense) but we could go back to my house after coffee (although, I'm more of a tea drinker). My house is always cold, my couch is uncomfortable, and I don't have any footsie pyjamas, but having you over sounds like fun so I'll cope. Wait, you'd "get Sebastian slap [me] back with a bullet to the face. Multiple times."? You're an idiot, there should be a "to" in there.
Whoops! Fixed it just for you, sweetie! You’ll have to forgive me for the error, it had been late and I was a bit tired after… well goodness, that’s actually really none of your business. Anywho! Oh please, do stop with the “I have no home for my dark and heartless soul” ordeal. You’re sounding much too ordinary and I was just beginning to like you. Though, I admit no one should have an uncomfortable couch. Perhaps I’ll install a new one for you the next time you’re out. Not guaranteeing it won’t be rigged with something unpleasant, but that’s half the fun of receiving unexpected presents in the first place!