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Helloooo! Consulting criminal here! The name's James Moriarty, but you, darling dears, can call me Jim. I like long walks on the beach, classical music, and turning people into shoes.

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Hello!

Won’t be here for long though, just to answer a few questions and then I’ll be on my way. Hope you all are having a terrible day so far. 

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asksebastian-moran:

NOW, I don’t have to listen to him giggle and ask me why people ask him such odd questions. He’s such a queen, with his “prissy little suits” You anons have provided me with endless ways to annoy Jim. Thank you.

As always.. Ask me anything! I’ll try to answer them to the best of my ability unless it’s personal.. I’ll answer everything anyways.

Seb, honey… You do realize I can read this, right? 

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I suppose I’ll be off to pay a surprise visit to an old friend, in that case. As always, it’s been fun!  

xoxo - JM

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blubeluga said: xkaadnsnadklndnaskldn. You're welcome for the spam.

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Anonymous said: What things? -AS

You think I’ll just tell you? But where would the fun in that be?

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blubeluga said: Dear Jim, please fix your face for me.

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Anonymous said: Oh, I see. So there really isn't anything special about him? -AS

No, of course nottt. Wouldn’t bother with him if that were the case. He’s got a few things that keep him from being too, you know, ordinary.

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Anonymous said: You've obviously seen that same expression on other people, what makes it so special on Sebby? -AS

Not “special”. Just endearing!

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Anonymous said: What's your preferred gender when dating?

No, no, no. I don’t care at all, as long as I get something out of it.

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Anonymous said: What is Sebby's most endearing quality? -AS

Sometimes he gets this very angry look on his face — but it’s not the kind of look that he uses when he finds out I’ve used up all his shampoo, or misplaced his rifle, or that one time when I forgot about him and showed up for dinner two hours late. It’s the look when he’s pissed off and worried, not about me (I hate that look), but when he’s scared for his own life and too much of a “man” to show it. I find it endearing. Sort of like a proud animal about to have its skull crushed in by a boulder.

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